Mom Friends: Essential to Your Well-Being
When was the last time you had a night out with friends? You know the night, the one where you find yourself laughing so hard that you forget, even for a moment, all the chaos of life. If you had to think a little too hard about this, you’re not alone. As a therapist who works with moms, I often hear that motherhood has pushed friendships to the back burner. It’s a reminder to moms that you deserve more fun outside the walls of your home and beyond your role as a parent. Because if there’s one thing that I have seen consistently transform the lives of my clients it’s mom friends.
Mom friends are the people who understand the benefits of a 5 pm dinner reservation, are more likely to text back at 7 am vs. 7 pm, will share a good parenting podcast (but then give you the cliff notes) and know how to expertly manage a toddle meltdown while juggling a venti coffee and a giant Stanley water bottle.
It is my personal and professional opinion that these friendships are not just nice to have, but essential for reducing stress, promoting joyful parenting experiences, and helping moms feel less alone. Social connections, particularly with people who can relate to your experiences, are critical for mental well-being. For mothers, friendships with other moms can provide a unique source of empathy, support, and validation. A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that mothers who have supportive friendships report lower levels of stress and higher levels of parenting satisfaction. This is not surprising—when you feel understood and supported, you tend to feel better. For new moms especially, the transition into motherhood can feel isolating, and peer support can bridge that gap, providing an emotional support during a challenging life phase. These relationships can be particularly important for moms experiencing perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, such as postpartum depression.
The Benefits of Mom Friendships
Mom friends offer a form of connection that goes beyond simple camaraderie. Here’s how these relationships can positively impact a mother’s mental health:
Validation and Understanding: Only another parent can truly understand the rollercoaster of emotions that come with raising children. Mom friends can validate each other’s experiences, which helps alleviate the guilt and self-doubt that many mothers face. They remind each other that it’s okay not to be perfect and that feeling overwhelmed doesn’t make them any less capable.
Emotional Resilience: Sharing challenges and stories with mom friends can create a sense of community resilience. When one mom feels exhausted, another might encourage her by sharing a similar story or a moment of humor. This collective understanding helps moms feel less alone and more capable of handling the ups and downs of parenting. Afterall, if you don’t laugh about something you might cry about it.
Practical Support: Mom friends are often a lifeline for hands-on support, whether it's dropping your kid off for a playdate for a much-needed break or sharing tips for managing sleep regressions. Research shows that having a support network that includes practical help can significantly reduce parenting-related stress.
Reducing Loneliness: Even surrounded by family, moms can still feel lonely, especially if they don’t have friends who truly understand what they’re going through. Maternal loneliness is linked to increased rates of anxiety and depression. Regular meetups, even brief ones, provide a break from the isolation and remind moms that they’re part of a community.
How to Build and Maintain Mom Friendships
If finding time for friends feels challenging, you’re not alone. But here are some simple, practical ways to nurture these connections:
Join Parenting Groups: Many communities offer support groups or classes for new parents, which can be a great way to meet people who are in the same life stage. Online groups or forums can also provide a sense of community, though in-person interaction is beneficial when possible.
Attend kids’ activities – Whether it's story time at the library, a music class, or a playground meetup, these events are perfect for chatting with other moms while your kids play. Having a routine that is consistent gives you something to look forward to and strengthens your bond over time. Sometimes, the best friendships are built on small, consistent interactions. A five-minute text exchange or a coffee meetup can be just what you need to feel connected.
Be open and share your experience Sharing your real experiences, the good, the bad, and the ugly fosters closeness. The more honest you are with mom friends, the more likely they are to open up, too. You may be surprised by how many other moms feel the same way.
Put yourself out there Next time you’re out with your child and you see a mom, say hello; compliment her shoes—do something to make a connection. If it goes well, suggest meet again.
The Bottom Line
Mom friends are more than just a social circle—they’re a lifeline. Friendships with other moms have a unique power to provide comfort, laughter, and understanding in times of stress. They serve as a reminder that you’re not alone in this journey. These connections not only make the rough patches of parenting easier to handle but also enrich the experience, offering joy and meaning even amidst the chaos.
The research is clear: social support reduces stress and boosts your mental health. In the end, the value of mom friendships lies in the shared understanding and mutual support. So, the next time you’re wondering if you should reach out to a friend or make time for that coffee, remember: your mental health is worth it. And it’s often in these small, shared moments that we find the resilience to keep going.