What is Infertility

Starting a family is supposed to be a joyous time in a woman’s life; however, this does not accurately reflect everyone’s experience around conception and pregnancy. About 10% of women in the United States have difficulty getting pregnant or staying pregnant. Because your reproductive story is strongly ingrained in your sense of self when something goes awry, it is a trauma that negatively impacts all aspects of your life.

Infertility is a condition that prevents the conception of a baby. The diagnosis of infertility is usually given to couples who have been trying to conceive for at least one year without success. This impacts approximately 10-15% of couples in the United States. Dealing with infertility may cause you to feel disconnected from your body and your reproductive health. You may feel like you are failing yourself and your partner. You may be worried about how fertility issues will impact your relationship and future dreams of having a family.

Women who have miscarried or had unsuccessful attempts at in vitro fertilization (IVF), may be hesitant to try again as it is costly, time-consuming, and emotionally draining. Fertility problems impact everyone differently and you may not be sure where you can turn for support. Therapy can help you cope with fertility challenges in a healthier way. 

If you or someone you know is experiencing miscarriage, pregnancy loss, or infertility, help is available. Call or email to find out more.  

Reproductive Trauma & Ambiguous Loss

WHY CALL IT TRAUMA?

That is exactly what infertility can feel like. We all have reproductive stories—the stories that we tell ourselves in relation to building our families and family planning. If you have ever had sex without the desire to get pregnant and used protection, than you likely have told yourself the story that you could get pregnant easily or without intention. When our reproductive stories go off course, or feel out of control, it can feel traumatic.

AMBIGUOUS LOSS

Our expert providers call the loss related to fertility as an ambiguous loss— meaning a loss that is not tangible or you can’t wrap your arms around. It could be the loss of how you thought you would become pregnant. It could be the loss of poking yourself with needles instead of having spontaneous sex to conceive. It could be the devastation you feel every time you see another pregnancy announcement post. We get it.

UNSUCCESSFUL IVF OR IUI ROUND

There is often a deep disappointment and grief that come with a failed IVF or IUI round. The anticipation and hope you felt can turn into sadness and frustration. You may feel a profound sense of loss, not just of the pregnancy, but of the dreams and plans you had. It’s common to experience a range of emotions: anger, guilt, and even questioning your self-worth.

Why Me?

In a world where it seems like everyone is becoming easily pregnant, it can be easy to ask yourself why me? Struggling to get pregnant can take a toll on your physical and mental health, your sense of self, and your relationships. Many of our clients feel profound loneliness, even if they are going through infertility with a partner.

Sick of explaining what infertility is to another person? Friends and family members don’t seem to understand. They say insensitive things like, don’t stress and you will become pregnant. This places unnecessary and unwarranted blame and guilt on you. You are not alone in these feelings. It’s important to acknowledge your grief and give yourself permission to mourn. Your journey is challenging, and your emotions are valid. Fertility challenges impact everyone differently and you may not be sure where you can turn for support. Therapy can help you cope with fertility challenges in a healthier way. 

Expert Therapeutic Support

Not just any therapy, we provide expert fertility and reproductive support. Your therapist should be one less person that you have to explain terms to or answer questions for. Your therapist should be your guide and support—not the other way around. Our providers have walked the walk and talk the talk, they have either gone through a fertility journey or guided many on their own.

If you or someone you know is experiencing these symptoms, help is available. Call or email to find out more.  

Will Sex Ever Be Fun Again?

Yes, you will heal. Life will not always be consumed by babies and baby making. But you will heal faster by managing symptoms and increasing coping skills with someone who gets it. It is okay to give yourself grace during this difficult time. We will hold hope for you that one day, you will get to the other side of this. One day, you will be excited for your friend who is expecting her second baby or enjoy a baby shower—as much as one could enjoy a baby shower— and have sex for pleasure again.

Did you know Nurture Therapy offers sex therapy?

When do I need professional help?

Of course, it is natural and expected for you to grieve. But grieving can feel uncomfortable. If you are feeling stuck in your sadness, grief, anger, or guilt due to a reproductive loss, therapy can help. Ask yourself these questions:

• Have you stayed in bed all day, every day, for several weeks?

• Are your emotional experiences interfering with your ability to work, take care of yourself or your other children, or engage in basic self-care?

• Are you feeling alone and isolated?

• Do you have any intent to act on suicidal thoughts or do you plan to harm yourself?

• Are you engaging in any other self-destructive acts?

If you or someone you know is experiencing any of the above symptoms, help is available. Call or email to find out more. 

How can therapy help me?

Therapy provides the space to help you get through your sadness and other intense feelings. Nurture Therapy will guide you through this time in a way that feels safe, and healing, and honors the loss of your loved one. Benefits of therapy include:

• Helping you to develop coping tools

• Regaining control of your emotions

• Preparing for triggers that may elicit feelings of sadness while building your family

• Encouraging communication with your partner to support each other during this difficult time

• Ensuring that your relationship survives by understanding and overcoming gender differences in grieving

• Feeling like yourself again

• Promoting hope and confidence to experience another pregnancy one day, should you desire