Disability and Chronic Illness during Pregnancy and Parenting

While pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period have health implications for all women, many women with chronic illnesses and disabilities encounter additional barriers during perinatal treatment. Barriers such as attitudinal, informational, physical, and lack of clinician knowledge contribute to the poor experience and subsequently negative health outcomes of women who are pregnant or parenting and living with a disability. 

Reproductive health care and parenting have received inadequate attention for women with disabilities. Nurture Therapy provides supportive counseling and expertise to those who may be living with new or chronic health conditions. 

Are you or someone you know living with a disability and struggling to become pregnant, pregnancy, or parenthood; therapy may be the right support. Call or email to find out more.  

Different Abilities & Invisible Disabilities 

As a person living with a chronic illness or disability, you may have a long-lasting health concern that may limit your movement, senses, activity, or functioning. Sometimes these conditions can be well-managed with treatment, while other times you may learn to live or adapt to their conditions. 

According to research, an estimated one in every five women identify as living with a disability in the United States. A large percentage of these women are either parenting, pregnant, or planning to become pregnant; however, they often encounter greater barriers to receiving health care than women living without disabilities. 

As a parent, you may find that you become anxious, stressed, guilty, or shamed in parenting with a chronic illness or disability. These emotions can be amplified when navigating a disability that is not widely understood by others.

As a woman, an individual who identifies as disabled, and a mom of two, I have both the knowledge and experience to treat clients. I remember being pregnant with my older child and being very anxious about the future of parenting him. I feared what would happen as he got older and learned to walk and run. I wouldn’t be able to run after him and had intrusive thoughts about him running into the street. Would people look at me differently or judge me as a mom as a result of what I couldn’t do? Would I need to rely on my partner more than able-bodied mothers needed to? What would this look like in my parenting journey? I also acknowledge that my personal experience is not everyone’s experience. I am careful not to overgeneralize or project my experience onto others. 

-Mattie Cox, LCSW

Intrusive Thoughts and OCD

Common in the parenting experience is something called intrusive thoughts–unwanted or repetitive thoughts, even images of something bad happening. While these symptoms are treatable, it can be difficult if your intrusive thoughts are not irrational. Some intrusive or scary thoughts can be based on your real experience, past experience, or something that could happen due to your chronic illness or disability. For example, a person who experiences muscle weakness can have intrusive thoughts about falling with the baby. As in Mattie’s case, when her son was old enough to move faster than her, she worried about taking him into crowded or busy places and not being able to keep up with him. 

Barriers and Trauma

MEDICAL TRAUMA 

Often the medical system is designed to accommodate able-bodied individuals and parents. People with disabilities or chronic illnesses may be intentionally or unintentionally treated unfairly or experience medical trauma at the hands of providers and the medical system. These can be subtle, like doctor’s offices that are not accessible or do not provide ADA accommodations, or more overt aggressions, such as invalidation of your experience, which can contribute to poor health outcomes and traumas.

FEELING SHUT OUT OF PARENTING SPACES

You may feel like you are not welcome or not allowed to be in a specific space. There are many subtle and overt ways that people who live with disabilities or chronic illnesses are shut out of spaces, particularly parenting spaces. It may be as simple as having a set of stairs and no elevator to maneuver up with a baby stroller, baby carrier, or wheelchair. Or a parenting group that doesn’t understand the accommodations you need.

OVERCOMING BARRIERS TO CARE

Individuals who identify as disabled or with a chronic condition often encounter a perinatal care setting that is not set up for women with physical disabilities in mind and these barriers to perinatal care contribute to poor outcomes and increased stressors, anxieties, feelings of guilt, and sadness. Nurture Therapy aims to overcome barriers to treatment by providing accessible care settings, combating negative attitudes, ensuring providers with both knowledge and experience, communicating and collaborating with other care providers, when appropriate, and understanding the uniqueness of those identifying as disabled and their needs. 

Are you or someone you know living with a disability experiencing these barriers in your perinatal or general care; therapy may be the right support. Call or email to find out more.  

Living with a Disability

DISABILITY DOESN’T MEAN INCAPABLE 

Living with a disability does not mean that you’re incapable and it does not take away your ability as a parent. Parents with disabilities and chronic conditions are securely attached to their children, love their children, and have a special bond. Individuals living with disabilities and chronic conditions can focus on enjoying parenting. 

It’s important to know that living with a disability doesn’t take away anything from you as a parent. I hate when people say to my partner that he does so much for the kids just because he is able to do some of the physical things that I am not able to. As a parent, I focus on having fun with my children and finding the joys of parenthood. I am also entitled to have ‘bad-mom’ days, where I can feel mom-guilt and mom-worry outside of my disability. 
-Mattie Cox, LCSW

Managing a Disability and Chronic Illness
During Pregnancy and Parenting 

RELYING ON THE OTHER PARENT OR A SUPPORT SYSTEM

Managing a disability or chronic illness during pregnancy or parenting may require you to rely on your co-parent or support system, which brings up its own set of complicated feelings. You may be limited due to your health condition. For example, you may not be able to take children to certain activities or places without support. You may rely on others for help. Or others may make assumptions about you because you are living with a disability or chronic health conditions ability. This can bring up feelings of guilt, frustration, shame, and anxiety. 

PARENTING ADAPTATIONS

Parenting with a specific health condition may require you to make certain adaptations. Engaging in activities or practices that work with the disability/chronic illness, recognizing and “okay” -ing your limitations.

I think back to when my son first started running and moving faster than me. I would take him to the forest preserve or large open areas that were safe, rather than busy areas with lots of people or traffic. I would be conscious of taking him to businesses and areas that were ADA-friendly–with accessible entrances, no stairs, etc. 
-Mattie Cox, LCSW

NAVIGATING PARENTHOOD 

The adjustment to parenthood can often feel overwhelming and for those living with a disability, there is another layer of complexity to this new role. The extra mental load of planning and making choices that work with the disability/chronic illness can be taxing- both mentally/emotionally and physically. Therapy can be helpful in navigating the impact on your emotional and mental health. Call or email to find out more.  

Treatment Options

At Nurture Therapy, providers are able to meet the unique needs of all clients, including those who are pregnant or parenting with a disability. Our providers have a non-judgmental, sensitive, and knowledgeable perspective, helping to provide comfort and support while clients move through the emotions and experiences that accompany this new transition.  

STRENGTHS-BASED PERSPECTIVE 

Strength-based therapy focuses on your internal strengths and resourcefulness, rather than weaknesses, failures, or shortcomings. Nurture Therapy uses your involvement to come up with strengths, viewing you as the expert in your own life. The tenet is that a positive mindset can help build upon coping techniques, improve resilience, build strengths, and change your worldview. 

CONFIDENCE BUILDING 

Nurture Therapy uses many evidence-based treatments to build one’s confidence and improve self-esteem. We understand that low confidence plays a significant role in both anxiety and depression. By not believing in our own abilities, we tend not to take risks, or complete tasks half-heartedly. In therapy, we can challenge dysfunctional thinking patterns, alter ineffective patterns that keep us stuck in low confidence cycles, and engage in more positive thoughts about self. 

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY 

ACT therapy encourages you to embrace your thoughts and feelings rather than fight them. Using mindfulness, ACT has us accept feelings while committing to values, which is a much more workable way to live. We apply this to parenting attitudes and values. 

Are you or someone you know living with a disability and struggling to become pregnant, pregnancy, or parenthood; therapy may be the right support. Call or email to find out more.  

Accessibility is a Human Right 

Nurture Therapy believes that accessibility is a right for all. We want to be transparent about our accessibility and space. Our office is accessible to all of your needs. Nurture Therapy offers teletherapy and in-person sessions. Our Lakeview Office is accessible for walkers, wheelchairs, and strollers. There is free parking outside of the building, including handicapped spaces. Our office is located on the first floor. We have a ramp to get into the ledge of the office. We have a Mother’s Room inside the office complete with a feeding chair, changing table, diapers, wipes, diaper pail, and privacy. If you need further assistance entering the building, please reach out to your therapist. 

When do I need professional help?

If you are not feeling like yourself or your typical coping tools are not cutting it, then therapy might be a good option for you. We understand it can be uncomfortable to start therapy or anything new. However, if you are feeling stuck in your sadness, anxiety, grief, anger, or guilt therapy can help. Ask yourself these questions:

• Have you been consumed with fear, worry, or anxiety?

• Are your emotional experiences interfering with your ability to work, take care of yourself or your other children, or engage in basic self-care?

• Are you having frequent and intrusive thoughts?

• Do you have any intent to act on suicidal thoughts or do you plan to harm yourself?

• Are you engaging in any other self-destructive acts?

How can therapy help me?

Therapy provides the space to help you get through your sadness and other intense feelings. As a therapist, we will guide you through this time in a way that feels safe and effective.

• Helping you to heal faster

• Regaining control of your emotions

• Preparing for pregnancy and parenthood

• Encouraging communication with your partner to support each

• Ensuring that your relationship survives by understanding and unification

• Feeling like yourself again

• Promoting hope and confidence