Mental Health and Well-Being in the Time of Covid-19: Infertility & Mental Health

By

Dr. Cecelia Quinn, PhD, LCSW

Infertility, or the inability to conceive after trying to do so, impacts individuals, couples, and families in many different ways. It increases stress and is associated with mental health concerns, particularly anxiety and depression. One of the scariest things about infertility is not knowing whether or not a pregnancy will be possible even with a variety of treatments available. Those trying to get pregnant may have increasingly invasive or long-term treatments. With each menstrual cycle, there is another opportunity for disappointment, anger, or despair.

Currently, non-essential procedures have been postponed all over the world as we work together to halt the spread of the coronavirus. Postponing infertility treatment for an indefinite amount of time is devastating for people who have invested their health, money, future, fate, and family in an already uncertain process.  Those who were receiving infertility treatment who are forced to forgo their treatments may experience anger, grief, hopelessness and in some cases, an actual missed opportunity to conceive.

In a world filled with uncertainty, daily updates about death tolls, limitations of movement and activity, we all desire a return to stability. The impotence people feel right now is paralyzing. As a therapist that specializes in women and gender issues, I have often heard those going through treatment state, “At least I am doing everything I can”. The reassurance that people are adhering to doctors’ advice, eating healthy foods, reducing stress, and taking medication, shots, or their temperature, is comforting. They attend their appointments and make the best decisions based on medical professionals’ advice and what they believe is best for themselves and their families. That small bit of comfort does not alleviate the anxiety surrounding waiting. However, it helps. Currently, though, those that have been forced to stop infertility treatment feel utterly helpless. They cannot do anything to stop the virus or change the course of the pandemic (like most of us) but also cannot continue to do what little they could previously to address their infertility.

The increased anxiety and depression people report during the current pandemic and the symptoms of those that have gone through infertility treatment are both tied to loss. Losses include a loss of identity, such as that of contributing to the economy through employment or that of being or becoming a parent. During the “stay at home” order people have felt the loss of work and income, beloved activities, human contact, and freedom. Women and their families going through infertility treatments may also experience lost pregnancies, eggs, hope when treatment isn’t successful and their identity as a parent or parent to be. Many of those losses go unnamed as society doesn’t recognize, for the most part, the impact they have. The grieving process can be tremendously isolating. Grieving during actual isolation then proposes even more difficulty.

Partners and individuals facing infertility treatment have other losses including a loss of self-esteem, feeling “not good enough” or feeling “less than” due to their inability to conceive and/or maintain a healthy pregnancy to term. The intimacy that previously bonded their relationship may be seen as a chore or the means to an end. This change in their dynamic plus an increase in mental health symptoms may contribute to a loss of libido or sexual desire, further impacting relationships. Seeing other women pregnant, or celebrating the births of babies to friends and family members can also contribute to feelings of hopelessness. Furthermore, as the world turns to the internet and social media for comfort and social interaction, watching other families celebrating ‘social distancing’ car parades for their children’s birthdays or creating fun at-home activities, those isolated without children are made painfully aware of their empty homes.

We recognize the vulnerability of all people facing uncertainty and fear during the pandemic. People across the world are fearful that they themselves or their loved ones will contract the virus. But for people who are struggling with fertility, they are experiencing a crisis within a global crisis. They fear that they will be unable to conceive and carry a healthy child to term. The fear of a loved one becoming sick and the fear of never meeting a fantasized child both represent great loss that could end in tragedy. Those who are experiencing both infertility and the pandemic are at even higher risk of anxiety and depression. Thankfully, therapists have been able to convert to e-therapy or teletherapy to serve clients safely at a distance. If you are experiencing stress, depression, anger, anxiety, or an increase in any mental health symptom due to infertility and/or the current pandemic, please do not hesitate to reach out to connect to help.